In Times of No Alternatives

by Aarti Agarwal from Dakshinpuri, Delhi

A lane that has been sealed by the government due to Corona cases in Dakshinpuri; Photo by Aarti Agarwal

The wind seemed to cross over through the window to take its first steps towards me in several years. I could smell the sharp fragrance of the sanitiser. I could no longer hold myself a prisoner inside the house. I came to the balcony to watch the street down below. But what has happened, the street was no longer its former self! No sound could be heard. No one was moving around. No doors were peeping out of houses. Three weeks back the doors of the houses stretched out into the street, giving space for people to look around.  The opening and closing of doors were proof of people moving in and out of their houses. Everything seems to have changed. In a matter of three weeks the place looks  deserted. I can hear the whirring sound of the water pump, but the people filling their buckets with water have disappeared.

 Dadi (Grandma)’s fluttering eyes and muttering lips had just taken a turn in sleep. Some sounds reached her ears and she got up with a start. With her large blazing eyes she growled: “What did you say, Divya will go out, are you in your right mind? Have the nuts and bolts of your brain come out loose or has the brain frozen into a stone? Why should I repeat the same thing fifty times, I just can’t understand.” She continued in the same breath, “How many times have I said Divya will not go outside, it means just that—she will NOT GO OUT, that’s it! By God, you should be ashamed of yourself, in times of Corona, you are sending this girl out!”  

“Oh Dadi I did not ask her,” Dilip piped up, who has small brown eyes. “It was Vinod who was sending her out.”  Now Sita Amma’s eyes fell on Vinod who was sitting close to the cupboard. As it is, Dadi already made his heart shiver. That is why he kept listening quietly.

“So you have fire burning in your belly,” Dadi’s voice boomed. ”If you have such an urge to stuff your stomach, then why don’t you go out yourself? You keep roaming around like a vagabond all day, anyway.” A scared Vinod blurted out, “Oh Dadi! Now I do not go out at all, please don’t lie.”

Shaking with anger, Dadi roared, ”Hey! Bring the rolling pin, I will teach him a lesson.” Addressing Divya, she continued, “look, how your brother’s tongue has grown by three inches! When he used to be out, there was at least peace in the house. Corona be damned. It has increased the suffocation in the house. Let your parents come and then you will see!”

Many days later they began to get rations. Jhani ji and his wife Rani had gone to their ration store. More people from the lane had gone, too. They left in the morning and returned in the afternoon, but they did not come.

Dadi stopped for a break. The two brothers and the sister stuck to their places—Vinod sitting close to the cupboard, Dilip lying flat on the floor by the side of the bed and Divya at the door, ready to step out to shop. For a moment silence reigned in the room. From whatever angle one could see, the room looked a complete mess. Bedsheets and quilts were scattered around. Plates and dishes used the night before had been pushed to a corner. All of this indicated that it was early morning. 

Dadi’s moment of silence benumbed them. They thought that peace might descend now. But was it possible? It does not take Dadi a moment to begin and once begun, the scoldings continue till day’s end. A sort of a pinkish petticoat was hanging loose on her body. Trying to arrange it properly, she started off again.

Curtains tagged on to balconies and not on house-doors, concealed many unseemly sights. Earlier, everybody used to feel suffocated if they were pulled half way through. But now these curtains have come up as walls even against the wind that provides some relief from the heat of the season. Peeping out of different houses, these red, blue, yellow and brown curtains seemed to uphold the system of ‘purda’(custom for women to conceal themselves from public gaze). I had not seen a door on this one and a half storied corner house before. But today the house has wrapped itself in a pinkish curtain. The silence of the street has absorbed the fear of Corona. It is impossible even for the fast blowing, fresh wind to break it.

Dadi continued with her tirade, “I am again repeating and do fix it  in your head, Divya will not go down, definitely not till the end of Corona times. You idiots are studying, don’t you know that it is best that the very young and the old do not step out.” Saying this she took a deep breath and went out to stand by the railing of the balcony.

“Oh Ma! Right you are.” This came from Kallo aunty who lives opposite us. Arranging her head covering, she peeped out and continued in a low tone, “Oh Ma!We do not step out even though we are young. Day and night the TV gives the message that children and old people of course should not go out, but people with any illness should also remain indoors. Just see our street, does it look like it is 12 noon and afternoon is descending? From the day Corona entered the house next door, it looks like nobody lives on our street. Now see Shyama didi’s family. Not a single soul is seen even on the balcony. Remember, everyone used to be miserable by the racket they made day and night.” She fell silent after this.

Actually what Kallo aunty was saying made sense. Our street is no longer the lively place it was. It appears like the Bahai Lotus Temple, bereft of any sound. Women are no longer visible on the terrace. We do not hear the noises made by children. Men do not congregate at the corners. Only the huge black gate stands like a prison gate at the end of the street.

The sealed lane in Dakshinpuri. Photo by Aarti Agarwal

Original Hindi text:

विकल्पहीन समय में  

ठंडी-ठंडी चलती हवा न जाने  कैसे वर्षों बाद अपनी पहलकदमी कर मुझे रेलिंग तक ले चली आई थी। तेज़ गंध के साथमहकती सेनीटाइजर की खुशबू को सूंघने आख़िर मैं निकल ही पड़ी, खुद को घर में कैद न रख सकी, और रेलिंग से नीचे झाँकनेलगी।  पर यह क्या, आज गली  पहले दिनों जैसी नहीं थी। ना कोई आहट, ना किसी की आवाजाही और ना ही रंग-बिरंगे सेझाँकते घरों के वे दरवाजे जो तीन सप्ताह पहले तक गली में पसरे हुए दिखाई पड़ते थे। यानी उन दरवाज़ों का खुलना गली मेंउतरते–चढ़ते लोगों की होने की गवाही पेश करता था। अब तो सब कुछ जैसे बदल गया है। तीन सप्ताह में ही गली में ऐसीवीरानगी छा चुकी है कि घुर्र-घुर्र करती मोटर की आवाज़ तो कानों में पड़ रही है पर मोटर से आते पानी भरते लोग गायब हैं।

फड़फड़ाती हुई आँखें और धीरे-धीरे बुदबुदाते होंठों ने अभी करवट बदली ही थी। कानों में पड़ती आवाज़ सुन वह झटके से उठीऔर अपनी मोटी-मोटी आँखो से सबको गुर्राते हुए बोली–'क्या कहा, दिव्या जाएगी बाहर, दिमाग सही है या दिमाग के नट हिलगए हैं। एक ही बात पचास बार क्यों कहनी पड़ती है मुझे, समझ नहीं आता या पत्थर जम गए हैं तुम्हारे दिमाग़ में?' एक ही साँसमें बोलती हुई वह अभी चुप नहीं हुई थीं। 'कितनी बार बोला दिव्या बाहर नहीं जाएगी, मतलब नहीं जाएगी। अरे शर्म करो।कोरोना के समय में इस बच्ची को बाहर भेजते है।' 

'अरे दादी मैं नहीं, ये विनोद भेज रहा था।' छोटी-छोटी भूरी-सी आँखों वाले दिलीप ने कहा और सीता अम्मा की आँखें अलमारीसे सटकर बैठे विनोद पर जा थमी जिसकी रूह तो वैसे भी दादी से काँपती है। इसलिए चुप लगाए सुनता रहा।

'तो पेट में लग रही है आग, इतनी ही ठूँसने की भूख है तो खुद क्यों नहीं चला जाता? ख़ुद तो आवारागर्दी करता रहता है सारादिन।

'अरी दादी अब तो जाता भी नहीं हूँ, झूठ तो मत बोलो।' डरते डरते विनोद ने कहा और दादी यह सुन गुस्से से काँप गई और उसीरौ में बोली–'अरी ला बेलन दे, इसे तो मैं बताऊँ।'

इतना कहकर दादी ने दिव्या की ओर इशारा करते हुए कहा– 'देख,जबान तो तेरे भाई की तीन इंच और बढ़ गई है। अरे बाहर हीरहता, सुकून तो मिलता था। मरे कोरोना ने और घर में घुटन पैदा कर दी। आने दे अपने माँ-बाप को।'

बहुत दिनों के बाद में राशन मिलना शुरू हुआ था। ज्ञानी  जी और उनकी बीवी रानी अपनी राशन की दुकान पर गए हुए थे। गली के और भी लोग गए हुए थे। सुबह से ही वे चले गए थे और अब दोपहर होने को आ गई थी लेकिन वे नहीं आए थे। और इधरतीनों भाई-बहन अलग- अलग हिस्सों में यानि जहां विनोद अलमारी से सटा बैठा था, तो वहीं दिलीप पलंग के पाए के पाससीधा लेटा हुआ था। दिव्या दहलीज़ पर खड़ी मानों दुकान पर ही जाने वाली थी कि दादी की आवाज़ ने उसे रोक लिया है। पलभर के लिए कमरे में सन्नाटा छा गया। कहीं से भी झाँकों– बिस्तर इधर से उधर पड़ा हुआ, झूठे बर्तन कोने में  सरकाया हुआ, मानो सब सुबह होने की गवाही दे रहे हों –तितर-बितर-सा बिखरा कमरा। दादी की पल भर की चुप्पी ने सबको सुन्न-सा करदिया था। लगा की अब सब कुछ शांत हो गया है, मगर ऐसा कहाँ होने वाला था। दादी के तो बस शुरू होने की देरी नहीं होतीकि डाँट फटकार में कब रात हो रहती  है, कहना ही असंभव था। बिस्तर से उठती हुई दादी झूलते हुए गुलाबी से पेटीकोट कोसँभाल फिर शुरू हो गई।

अपने घरों में नहीं, बस बालकनी पर लगे उन बड़े-बड़े पर्दों के पीछे सभी छुपे थे। जिनका ज़रा सा लगे रहना भी कहाँ कल तकसबके लिए घुटन का वास था पर आज तो जैसे गर्मी से राहत देने वाली हवा तक के सामने उन्हीं पर्दों को दीवार की तरह खड़ाकर दिया गया था। अलग-अलग घरों से झाँकते लाल, पीले, ब्राउन मटमैले पर्दे मानो पर्दा प्रथा के कानून के समर्थन में हों। गलीके नुक्कड़ पर खड़ा डेढ़ मंज़िला इस मकान में आज तक कभी मैंने दरवाजा तक नहीं देखा, वह भी आज गुलाबी से झूलते पर्दे मेंलिपटा हुआ है। गली की चुप्पी कोरोना के डर को इस क़दर अपने अंदर समेटे हुए थी की तेज चलती  ताज़ी हवा के बस में भीनहीं था कि, वह उसे कम कर सकती या भंग कर देती–इसे तोड़ना नामुमकिन सा लगने लगा था। 'आज फिर से कह रही हूँ, गाँठबाँध ले, आज के बाद दिव्या नीचे नहीं जाएगी। कोरोना तक तो बिलकुल भी नहीं। मरे पढ़-लिख रहे हो तो यह नहीं पता कोईछोटा या बूढ़ा इस वक्त नीचे भी कदम ना रखे तो ही सही है।' यह कहकर एक लंबी सी सांस भर्ती हुई रेलिंग पर जा खड़ी हुई।

'सही कहती हो अम्मा'–सिर पर से खिसकते पल्लू को सँभाल सामने वाली कल्लो आंटी बाहर झाँकती हुई बोली–'अरी अम्मा हमतो बड़े जवान होते हुए भी नहीं उतर रहे, देखते नहीं टीवी ने भी दिन रात बताते रहते हैं कि बूढ़े और बच्चे तो सही बल्कि बीमार भीन जाएँ तो बढ़िया। अब हमारी गली ही देख लो न! कहाँ से लग रहा है की सुबह के बारह बज रहे हैं। बल्कि दोपहर ही होनेवाली है। जिस दिन से बगल वाले मकान में कोरोना क्या आया बस, उस दिन से तो यहाँ यह भी नहीं लगता कि यहाँ  लोग रहतेभी हैं। इस गली में अब श्यामा दादी की ही फैमिली को ले लो। एक भी नहीं दिखता बाहर, यहाँ तक की बालकनी पर भी नहीं।वरना तो सब उनके ही शोर से दुखी रहते थे। रात और दिन भी न दिखते थे। उन दिनों।' 

धीरे से फुसफुसाती हुई वह चुप हो गई। वाकई कल्लो आंटी की बात में दम तो था। गली में जबसे कोरोना के कदम क्या पड़ेतब से हमारी गली गली न होकर कमल मंदिर सा बन कर रह गया है। जहाँ अब ना चबूतरे पर महिलाएं दिखती हैं, ना कानों मेंबच्चों का शोर पड़ता है और ना ही नुक्कड़ पर जमघट लगाए आदमियों का झुंड दिखाई देता है। बस कोने पर लगा वो काला सादरवाजा मानों एक जेल का दरवाजा बनकर रह गया है।

 आरती अग्रवाल
जन्मः 1999, दिल्ली। ग्रेजुएशन कर ली है और दक्षिणपुरी दिल्ली में रहती है। ‘अंकुर’ के साथ 2005 से जुड़ी हैं। ‘फर्स्ट सिटी’ और ‘अकार’ के साथ-साथ वेब पोर्टल ‘यूथ की आवाज़’ और हंस में रचनाएं प्रकाशित।

Aarti Agarwal was born in 1999. She has completed her high school graduation and lives in Dakshinpuri. She has been writing with Ankur since 2005. She helped found the web portal “Youth ki Avaaz” and has published in the literary magazine Hans.

This text was translated into English by Jayawati Shrivastava (Jaya), the former director of Ankur—Society for Alternatives in Education.