I am Happy

by Rifa from LNJP Colony, Delhi

The lockdown continues to be extended. By now the mind has adjusted to it. If the announcement to extend it further is made on the 7th May, which may well be the case, then we should not take it to heart. Girls like me have learnt to live with the impact of the lockdown. The ambience of the household and our routine has changed, as men of the family stay home. The only brother of three sisters, who used to get up at 7am to go to school 6 days a week, now leaves his bed at 12 noon! And we are told that girls should not sleep till late. But it does not matter. I am happy.

Earlier Papa used to be busy with work, but now we get a lot of time with him. When he finds something interesting on the mobile he shows it to us. We also watch movies together. At times  he shares a new recipe from YouTube. Perhaps in modern times the father-daughter relationship  is indigent on the mobile. But it is ok, I am happy.

Normally only Ammi and we sisters are home during the day, so we do not wear the ‘dupatta’ (a scarf over the chest) with our salwar suits. But now that papa and brother are home, we throw it over our shoulders before we get scolded. This ‘respect’ for men or ‘religious’ restriction smothers the peace of my mind. Yet, I am happy.

Since my brother is home all the time, I cannot use the mobile much. He scolds me, “You have started using the mobile too much, stop it.” I cannot go out of the house because of the restrictions of lockdown.T hen I have to fulfill the wishes of different members of the family. When I am doing my school-assignments on line, Papa says, “Go to the other room to study my child.” My brother says, “Finish my work first.” Mummy says, ”Do share a little of my work-load.” I am not able to concentrate on my studies. Despite all of this, I am happy.

How does it matter whether I am happy or not. After all, I am a girl. It is important to look happy, that is all. One has to breathe calmly and wait for the opening of the lockdown.

Original Hindi text:

मैं खुश हूं...

रिफा

लॉकडाउन के दिन बढ़ते ही चले जा रहे है। अब तो दिमाग ने भी एडजस्ट कर लिया है कि 16 या 17 मई को अगर लॉकडाउन बढ़ाने का फ़रमान फिर सेसुनाया गया जो कि शायद सुनाया ही जाएगा तो दिल पर नहीं लेना है। अपने दिनचर्या में बदलाव, मर्दों का घर में होने से माहौल में बदलवा के साथसाथ लॉकडाउन का मुझपर और मेरे जैसी लड़कियों पर होने वाले असर को भी जी रही हूं।

तीन बहनों का इकलौता भाई, जो हफ्ते के 6 दिन स्कूल जाने के लिए सुबह सात बजे उठ जाता था आजकल वो 12 बजे उठ रहा है। हमारा क्या है, घरवाले कहते है कि लड़कियां देर से नहीं उठती। 'मैं खुश हूं'।
वैसे तो हमारे पापा काम-काज में बहुत व्यस्त रहते हैं पर अब लॉकडाउन की वजह से हमें पापा का पूरा-पूरा समय मिल पा रहा है। पर कैसे? मोबाइल मेंकुछ मजेदार आता है तो वो दिखा देते है, या कभी कभार साथ में कोई पिक्चर देख लेते है, या यूट्यूब पर कोई नई रेसीपी देखते है तो वो बता देते है।मॉडर्न जमाने का प्यार, शायद बाप बेटी का रिश्ता आज मोबाइल का मोहताज बन चुका है। पर 'मैं खुश हूं'।
वैसे तो मैं घर सिर्फ अम्मी और बहनें होती है तो चुन्नी नहीं ओढ़ती हूँ पर अब पापा-भाई घर पर होते हैं इसलिए उनके टोकने के पहले ही चुन्नी लपेट लेतीहूं।धार्मिक पाबंदी और मर्दों का आदर यहां मेरे सुकून पर हावी हो जाता है। फिर भी 'मैं खुश हूं'।
जब से भाई घर में रहने लगा है तो मैं मोबाइल नहीं चला पाती। वो कहता है कि बहुत मोबाइल चलाने लगी है, अब मोबाइल रख दे। नीचे भी नहीं जासकती क्योंकि लॉकडाउन की भी अपनी बंदिशें है। फिर भी 'मैं खुश हूं'।
अब ऑनलाइन स्कूल से काम आ रहे है। पापा कहते हैं कि बेटा दूसरे कमरे में बैठ कर पढ़ लो। भाई कहता पहले मेरा काम कर दे। अम्मी कहती, तोड़ाकाम में हाथ बटा दे। मैं और ध्यान से नहीं पढ़ पाती। पर इन सब के बावजूद 'मैं खुश ही हूं'।
खुश हूं या नहीं क्या फर्क पड़ता है। लड़की हूं, खुश दिखना जरूरी है। बस, चैन की सांस लेनी है, लॉक डाउन खुलने का इंतजार है।

 Rifa is 14 years old. She has been writing with Ankur for the past year. She is in eighth grade. She loves observing her neighborhood and writing about it. She lives in JP Colony.

This text was translated into English by Jayawati Shrivastava (Jaya), the former director of Ankur—Society for Alternatives in Education.

14 साल की रिफा अंकुर की पिछले एक साल से नियमित रियाजकर्ता रहीं है। आठवीं में पढ़ती हैं और अपने आसपास को निरखना और उसके बारे में लिखने का शौक रखती है। जेपी कॉलोनी में रहती हैं।